“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
— Viktor Frankl
Leaving a narcissistic relationship or a high-control group—such as a cult, sect, or coercive ideological system—is a profoundly destabilising experience. Survivors often leave feeling confused, emotionally depleted, and unsure of who they are without the person or system that once dominated their life. While narcissistic abuse and high-control groups operate differently, both rely on psychological manipulation, coercive control, and the erosion of autonomy, leaving long-lasting trauma.
Therapy offers a safe, confidential space to understand what happened, deconstruct the control that was imposed, and begin rebuilding a stable sense of self.
Narcissistic Abuse in Intimate Relationships
Narcissistic abuse most often occurs in romantic or close interpersonal relationships, where control develops gradually. What may begin as charm, intensity, or idealisation slowly shifts into gaslighting, emotional withdrawal, criticism, and fear-based control. Over time, the survivor’s needs, perceptions, and boundaries are systematically dismissed.
Common features include gaslighting and reality distortion, emotional manipulation and intermittent reinforcement, shame, guilt, and fear of abandonment, and progressive loss of confidence and self-trust.
Because this abuse often happens behind closed doors, survivors frequently blame themselves and struggle to name what they have experienced. The psychological impact can persist long after the relationship has ended.
High-Control Groups, Cults, and Coercive Systems
High-control groups operate on a broader and more structured level. Control is embedded in the group’s beliefs, hierarchy, and rules rather than resting with one individual alone. These systems often involve isolation, indoctrination, rigid ideology, surveillance, and punishment for dissent.
Members are encouraged—or forced—to suppress individuality and outsource their identity, morality, and decision-making to the group. Even after leaving, survivors may experience intense guilt, fear, and confusion, struggling to trust their own thoughts and emotions. While narcissistic abuse centres on interpersonal domination, high-control groups create total systems of psychological control.
Common Effects of Narcissistic and High-Control Trauma
Survivors may experience:
- Anxiety, depression, PTSD or C-PTSD
- Loss of identity and difficulty knowing personal values
- Chronic self-doubt and fear of “being wrong”
- Shame, guilt, and emotional numbness
- Intrusive thoughts, nightmares, or emotional flashbacks
These responses are not signs of weakness—they are normal reactions to prolonged psychological control.
How Therapy Supports Recovery
Healing from narcissistic abuse or high-control group trauma requires a specialised, trauma-informed approach. Therapy focuses on both understanding the manipulation that occurred and gently restoring the survivor’s internal sense of safety and agency.
In therapy, survivors can:
- Rebuild identity after prolonged psychological erosion
- Process emotional and relational trauma
- Challenge internalised beliefs imposed by the abuser or group
- Learn to trust their own perceptions again
- Develop healthy boundaries and autonomy
I work integratively, using psychodynamic therapy, somatic therapy, creative imagination, dreamwork and trauma-informed care, always pacing the work carefully to avoid retraumatisation. For many survivors, the body still carries fear long after the mind understands what happened—both must be addressed for lasting change.
Reclaiming Autonomy and Self-Trust
Leaving the relationship or group is only the first step. Recovery involves disentangling from internalised control and reconnecting with one’s authentic self. Therapy provides a space where this process can unfold safely, without judgment or pressure to “move on.”
If you are recovering from narcissistic abuse, a high-control group, cult involvement, or coercive relationships, trauma-informed psychotherapy can support you in healing emotional wounds, restoring self-trust, and rebuilding a life grounded in choice and autonomy.